Being sick always makes me feel all sorts of dramatic & so I was thinking about it before I left {like Thursday night} & I was getting really upset about how much has changed in the last 6 months. My entire life is different. My parents moved to St. George, so my house in Pahrump, the one I did most of my growing up in, is gone. Most of my friends, my very best friends throughout high school, are not even my friends anymore. I still talk to maybe 3 of them. & my school. My high school is virtually gone, they built a new building & are completely remodeling the old one. So, the school that I had some of my best teen memories, it's gone now. I can't go back to the school & reminisce the good'ol days {not as easily anyway}. I kind of feel like instead of gently being let out of the door into the real world, I've kinda been shoved out & the door was locked behind me. As I was being dramatic & upset about it, I made the decision to go to St. George the next day. & during my drive I realized something:
I'm much happier now than I was then.
As nice as it is to reminisce & remember the good times, knowing me, I would probably do it too much, & eventually I wouldn't think about anything but how much I miss that place, those people, & these memories. It would overwhelm my new life with my old life. I still have a pinch of sadness for the near to complete loss of my old life & my old ways, but overall I'm extremely happy.
Now I can visit my parents on the weekend with just a 40 minute drive.
Now I can realize who are my real friends & who never really was a friend at all.
Now, now I can grow up.
& I will never, ever forget these memories, but I need to leave them as what they are: memories.
& don't worry, Ali, I'll never forget this EPIC picture:
{hahahahahahaha}
I love all of these memories & in some way or another, I really do love all of these people. They have helped me shape myself into who I am today, but now it's time to move on.
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